How to Talk to Your Children About Diversity and Representation

With @barbie, you can be 💖ANYTHING💖 I chose this Barbie to recreate a costume because it reminded me of so many if my kids’ aunties who have pastel hair. It was a quick reusable DIY using removable vinyl and a fun wig I found on Amazon.

Mattel sent us these toys for free to review.  Barbie has come a long way from the 1950s. The #Barbie #Fashionistas line is now the most diverse doll line on the market. It was not lost on me that they launched 6 new Babie Fashionistas (including a beautiful new Black Barbie with vitiligo) in time for Black History Month.

Why does that man have long hair?  Is he a girl?

The following is an actual conversation that I had on the fly with my 4 year old daughter.

Her:  “Mom, look at his hair!  Wait, is this doll girl?”

Me:  “What do you think?” (ask this to gauge where their mindset is)

Her:  “No!  He’s not a girl.”

Me:  “He just has long hair.” (make observations)  

Her:  “Boys and girls can have long hair.”

Me:  “I guess we can’t ask his pronouns, since he’s a doll.” (in retrospect, I should have used the non-binary term they, but I was thinking in the moment).  “You can play however you want.  Do you want this doll to be a boy or a girl?”

I strive to raise my kids to not shy away from non-binary, LGBTQ+, or gender norms.  Especially since we are in an age where we celebrate diversity, it’s important to teach our kids how to live in a world of gray areas.  It is completely normal for kids to be curious and to ask questions.  Don’t be weird about it, answer to the best of your ability, and if you are not sure, find out together.  It is better to have these conversations in a safe space than to raise kids who shut down in situations like these.

What if my kids don’t want a Black Barbie?

I get it.  It is human nature to gravitate towards things that are familiar or that remind you of yourself.  It sounds funny, but how you treat these dolls is a direct representation of how you treat people of the same color.  To be honest, my daughters were not immediately drawn to the Barbie with vitiligo.  I picked her up and told my daughters that I thought this one was the prettiest because she had the most unique skin.  The following aren’t specific questions and reactions that my kids had, but they are scenarios that I’d imagine would come up.  

“But Mom, that one looks weird.  Her skin is splotchy.”  No, Honey, that’s from a condition called “vitiligo”.  It means she gets to have many colors of skin and that’s something that makes her special.  SHE’S THE RAREST ONE.  (Kid’s like things that are rare, amirite?)

“I don’t like that one because it doesn’t look like me.”  Look, kid, we can’t have eleventy billion Asian dolls, okay?  And look at our friends.  Not all of them are half-Asian right?  If we only have one type of doll, or one type of friends, we’re missing out on getting to know a lot of different people’s stories.

“I do like her fanny pack.”  Yeah, me too.  She has exquisite taste in fashion.

If you deny your children having diverse toys, you are telling them that they don’t matter to you.  When I had the opportunity to visit @mattel headquarters, I was able to meet with some toy designers, many of them who were Asian. I told them how refreshing it was to see so many women of color on the creative team, but also asked them why we aren’t seeing as much representation in the dolls. To be frank, they simply explained that they have to produce things that the market will buy.  One simple way to teach your kids the importance of diversity is by buying these dolls.  

💖HERE’S THE THING.💖 Let your wallet speak for where your convictions lie. I was talking to Carly @lipglossandcrayons about this the other day, and she was saying how it can be difficult teaching her blonde hair blue eyed child the importance of diversity. We realized that these beautifully different Barbies are less than $8 in store. You can spend $8 showing companies like @mattel that representation is important to you. Even more so, you’re showing your kids that people of color deserve a spot in your home.

Thank you @mattel and @barbie for starting a conversation and allowing everyone a spot at the table.  For more about me and my family, find us on instagram @littlegraythread

Learning How to Say No: Why we turned down a chance at a National Broadway Tour

It all started when I took my kids to see Miss Saigon at Segerstrom Center.  I know its an unconventional choice to take a 4 and 7 year old to see such a “mature” show, but I had good reasons for wanting my children to see this production.  In this day and age where Asians are largely unrepresented, I couldn’t pass up the change to show my daughters a stage full of talented Asian artists living their dreams.  Also, our friend Keila Halili @cupofkeila was in the cast and I COULD NOT miss that!

After the show, we met Keila at the stage door and she was able to take us on the Miss Saigon stage.  We also got to meet a lot of her cast mates, a couple of them who were casting people for the show.  They sort of eyed LittleSage since she matched the age and description of Tam, who is the child in the show.  I half joked that if they ever needed someone to go in as Tam, I have the perfect half-asian 4 to 6 year old child who loves the stage.  Not too much came after that, but I did submit my info to them on a whim.

Fast forward to present day (months and months later), I got an email from Miss Saigon confirming my daughter’s name and if we are able to make it to the National Broadway Tour audition for Tam.  I stopped breathing for a good portion of a minute until I read that the audition was in New York.  In eight days.  I laughed it off and immediately texted a few of my close friends.  Surprisingly, EVERYONE was in support of us going to New York.  Even my best friend Jo, who is usually my voice of reason, said, “This could be her big break.  Of course you need to go.”  I texted all of my close friends with touring and musical theater experience and everyone encouraged us to at least audition.

When I texted my husband, he calmly replied, “Let’s talk about this tonight.”  My brain shut off and I was unable to do anything the entire day.  I talked to Keila about it and she  let me know a little bit more about the role.  After talking to the casting people, I found out that they were looking for a quick replacement and that the contract would start within a month.  Since it is with the National Broadway Tour, we would be traveling with the company through the remainder of the tour.

We talked about the different options together as a family.  LittleSage was so excited about the idea of going on tour.  She said she wanted to be on stage and have her name in the program.  I asked her what she thought being on stage would be like, and she said “I run out on stage, and when the loud gun goes off, I fall down!” so she did have some loose recollection of the story.

But then realistically, this was a logistical nightmare.  First off, we would have had to pay our own way to get to New York for the audition, and the role wasn’t even an guarantee (and last minute trips to New York are very expensive).  We thought of different options for big sister LittleGray.  Her initial reaction is that she would rather stay home with Dad then go on tour with LittleSage and me.  (I also want to add that there was not a silver of jealousy here.  She was excited for her sister and 100% understood that she was too old/tall for the role and it wasn’t even an issue).  After talking to our parents, my dad agreed that he could come and stay with her long term if this entire thing ended up happening.  But even so, it would be super difficult for my husband to basically be a single father while working a full time job and potentially flying out to see us every weekend.

We asked LittleSage if this is something she really wanted to do, and what she wanted to be when she grows up.  She was torn too, because while she really wanted to go on tour, she said she would miss her family, her dog, and her teachers and friends at school.  I asked her if she would want to do this forever, and she quickly said, “No, no, not forever.”  I asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up, and she said, “A doctor.”  Since this isn’t her passion in life, we ultimately decided not to go through with the audition. 

This really got me thinking about passion and dreams.  Why do I work so hard to expose my children to the arts and live theater?  I am always drawn to Asian performers in particular because I know how hard it is to break away from the stereotypical mold.  While at Miss Saigon, we met Emily Bautista @em_bautista who is a powerhouse Kim at only 21 years old.  We met Jessica Fry @jesicafry_ who left Stanford University to tour with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.  At Frozen, we met Marina Kondo @marinakondo who is helping break down sterotypes by playing Queen Iduna in a colorblind cast.  These stories are so fascinating to me.  I want my daughters to see Asian people in all walks of life so they can see that they are limitless.  

I have no idea why LittleSage wants to be a doctor.  LittleGray said she wants to be an Instagrammer like me, but that’s an entirely different story for a whole other post.  Maybe Asians are more drawn to fields like medicine?  Probably because both of my sisters are doctors?  I don’t know.  At any rate, I just know that I have to work extra hard to show them that they can be something outside of what is expected.

Now let’s go back to why we had to say no to this once in a lifetime opportunity.  It wasn’t the right choice for our family at this time.  We should not pursue it unless 100% of the family was on board, and this was not the case.  While we were all supportive, deep down we knew it was not the right thing for our family.  Luckily, I found a local children’s theater within our budget (way less than what it would have cost to get us to New York) where both of the kids can perform together.  Have you ever had to say no to something that you really wanted to say yes to?

It’s an interesting thing having to say no to something you really wanted.  Even though I knew what the right decision was, I still had to grieve the opportunity that once was.  I was really sad for a couple of days.  It was the crippling type of sadness that made me want to crawl inside my skin, and for that I felt even worse because I knew that the alternative was the best choice for my family.  I felt bad for feeling sad.  But again, my best friend Jo talked me through my feelings and told me that my feelings were valid and that I’m allowed to grieve.  After about a day, I felt better and I was able to talk about this experience openly without breaking down. Now, I want to write about it so my daughters can look back at this and see what was going through my head and how we came to these decisions. 

Meanwhile, I’ll continue to expose them to live theater and support Asian and minority performers.  By having them meet people who are living their dreams, we learn their stories and add to ours.  I hope that someday the kids will look back on their childhood and realize that their stories started at home.  No matter where the end up, I hope they end up living their passions, happy, full, and content.

My Asian Story: Why I Spoke Up about Lunar New Year

Something happened earlier this week.  I spoke up.

Disneyland posted this picture on their Instagram account to advertise their upcoming Lunar New Year Spirit Jerseys.  I had actually just woken up when my friend Christine @dorkdujour messaged me about it.  My initial reaction was:  “White people modeling Asian merchandise.  Lazy PR.  Typical.”

 

I was annoyed.  I couldn’t eyeroll hard enough.  This wasn’t the first time that Asian people have been overlooked for campaigns that are literally written for them.  My friend Shawny @shawnybobawny messaged me for clarification.  She didn’t understand how an oversight like this could happen:  surely there were Asian people in that office.

I told her, probably not.  Unlike Hawaii (where she is from), there are just not as many Asian people in this field.  Ultimately what ends up happening is that people gravitate towards people who are like them.  That is human nature.  But it takes a good person who is good at their job who is willing to work harder to make sure that they are representing all ethnicities.

 

I wanted to say something, but I was scared.  Asian people are also raised to keep silent, keep your head down, eye roll, but dust it under the rug.  Ultimately, I was worried about offending Mickey and ruining any future opportunities that might come my way.  But the I remembered my conversation with Shawny and I realized that the vast majority of the population might not even pick up on this type of misrepresentation.

So I said something.  I took a risk and posted a bunch of slides of my face on my stories telling my story.  I talked about how this wasn’t a personal attack on Asian people, but rather lazy PR.  I gave options of how Disneyland could have picked other Asian people to help promote a Lunar New Year Product.  And lastly, I made it known that I am unashamedly Chinese.

Asian voices are naturally quieter.  That means we have to band together to be heard.

Then something interesting happened.  I started getting DMs from people in support of what I was saying.  People who wouldn’t usually speak up felt like they could in a safe space.  Conversations started happening and we began to feel less alone.

I learned something that day.  I learned that Filipino people don’t even celebrate Lunar New Year.  While I thought it was “good enough” just to have an Asian face represent “us”, I realized that this is further encouraging the mentality that “all Asians are the same”.  Lizzi @whatuplizzard brought it to my attention that Disneyland has been making tiny changes that waters down the Lunar New Year Celebration.  During the first year, the food booths clearly showed what cultures were being represented (Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean).  Now, they are random “Asian Inspired” foods that come from any ol’ Asian (fruishi is an offshoot of sushi, which is Japanese, who do not even celebrate Lunar New Year).

 

On the other hand, baby steps.  I’m grateful that Disneyland/Disney California Adventure even has a Lunar New Year Celebration.  My children’s traditions largely have to do with celebrating at themeparks so I am extremely thankful for this.  This is a really great opportunity for Disney to tell Asian stories.

Traditions are a funny thing, aren’t they? Keshia @keshiasih invited me to share my #AsianStory as a special Lunar New Year edition of #yourtruemagic (check out her blog if you haven’t already!)

I shared about how my mom (#GrandmaPopo) kept our Chinese New Year traditions alive by going to our school every year to share our stories. She taught about the legend of the zodiac animals (did you know that the cat was there too?) and cooked yummy snacks like teem gok and shrimp chips. She taught my friends the Chinese names for foods and explained why they were traditional for the new year (shrimp 🍤 is “Ha” and sounds like laughter).

Now that I have my own kids, I’m realizing the importance of storytelling. It’s my job now to teach them our traditions in addition to making our own. I realized that their #AsianStories will probably be full of spending time at theme parks and adopting every Asian person as their auntie or uncle. We support Asians in entertainment because I know how much harder it is for them to go against the stereotype of being a doctor or accountant. We support Asian businesses because Asian voices are usually quieter because we’re taught not to speak up. I teach them what things are Chinese and how to differentiate between Asian cultures in attempts to #deBlanketAsian.
It will be interesting to see what traditions they remember as they get older. During this season of Lunar New Year (that will officially start on 1/25), I encourage you to share your #AsianStory. If we don’t tell our stories, they will never get heard and will be forgotten ❤️

Also, our amazing matching family outfits were designed by us and printed by @picturethisclothing. They are an amazing company that celebrates diversity. If you’d like to make your own unique creation, you can use code “LITTLEGRAY10” to save 10% .

Lessons I Hope my Daughters Learn from Frozen 2

*This post contains spoilers for Frozen 2*  Tread with caution.

I remember the exact moment “Frozen” touched my life.  When “Frozen” came out in 2014, LittleGray was two and half and at the height of loving princess movies.  Fast forward five years later to “Frozen 2”, now with two daughters in tow.  If there’s one thing I learned from Frozen, it’s that family moments are precious and fleeting.  Our family was treated by Disney to have the ultimate #Frozen2FamilyNightOut to celebrate the opening weekend of “Frozen 2”.

The kids are at that beautiful age where magic is real and they love to pretend they are royalty.  They were treated like queens at The Dry Bar and were gifted a Fuji Instax Frozen 2 Camera to document their day from #FrozenFanfest.  Like all good Arendellians, we had chocolate milk for lunch from Yard House before seeing “Frozen 2” together as a family at AMC theaters.  These moments are so precious to us because our princesses are rapidly growing into strong young women ready to take on their kingdom.

With my daughters being only 7 and 4, I feel like most of the lessons went over their head.  They were enthralled by the humor and beautiful imagery of the film.  I felt like “Frozen 2” had some pretty complex storylines and I left with a lot on my mind.  Here is what I hope my daughters learn from “Frozen 2”:

You don’t need to wear a dress to be a Princess.

It was not lost on me that Anna and Elsa wore pants for most of “Frozen 2”.  Even though they had their share of ball gowns, they dressed for adventure and sported comfortable pants.  Them wearing pants did not make them any less of a princess.

You don’t need a partner to be complete.

Something that has been going around the internet is Elsa’s speculated sexual attraction.  Many people were disappointed that “Show Yourself” was lot a pointedly LGTBQ+ song.  I read Elsa as a person who was not interested in finding a romantic partner, male or female.

When grief settles in and it seems that there is no way out, focus on doing the next right thing, one step, one breath, one action at a time.

I’ve been in the same place as Anna where grief is so strong that it’s easy to get lost within it.  The song “The Next Right Thing” is a great reminder on how to come out of feelings of depression.

Be proud of who you are: a lesson in being biracial.

*MAJOR SPOILER*, but Elsa and Anna find out that their parents are from different cultures.  For reasons not addressed, their mother did not feel comfortable sharing her culture with her children.  It wasn’t until they were adults until they were able to embrace who they really were.  My hope is that my children can identify with being both Chinese and Arizonan and can adopt traditions from both cultures.

If you do not feel “at home” where you are, it’s okay to move out and be your own person in your own space.  

Never be afraid to go into the unknown.

Always keep your family close and make family time a priority.

If there comes a time where you do not live in close proximity to your family, go out of your way to create moments to spend time together.  With our busy schedules, it can be hard to have dedicated family time.  Thank you Disney for our family night out!  Frozen 2 is in theaters now!

For more of our adventures, find us on Instagram @littlegraythread.

How the Gender Neutral Creatable World Dolls are Teaching Kids Inclusion

I strive to raise my daughters to be open minded and inclusive (read my thoughts on how I’m teaching my kids about Pride).  I audibly gasped when I found out that Mattel created a line of gender neutral dolls as part of their new Createable World line.  Each “doll kit” (MSRP $29.99) comes with a gender neutral doll with short hair, a long hair wig, and 12 assorted clothing pieces including pants, skirts, and accessories.  Currently there are 6 variations of the doll including Asian, African American, and Hispanic ethnicities.  The Creatable World line was designed to keep labels out and invite everyone in, making play more inclusive than ever before.  Mattel sent us three dolls to review for free.

How to Talk to your Kids about Pronouns

Upon first glance, my daughters weren’t sure if the doll was a boy or a girl.  I told them that Mattel made this doll to be whatever they wanted it to be.  They mused over the beautiful long wig and giggled as they tried it on the doll.  I asked them if they wanted this doll to be a boy or a girl or something else, and they agreed on the pronouns “she/her”.

We opened up another Creatable World doll and again I asked them, “What pronouns do you want to use for this doll?  She?  He?  Them?”  They thought about it for a second and said, “Him!  Him!  This one is a boy.”  As they looked over the clothing pieces that came in the doll kit, they picked out what pieces they wanted him to wear.  My older daughter picked out a striped shirt and camo pants and my younger daughter plucked up the tutu.  Initially, my older daughter chastised, “No, he can’t wear that!” to which my youngest retorted, “But why not?”  She only paused for a second before musing, “Oh, you’re right!  He can wear it ON TOP of the pants!  That’s so cute.”  While their initial reaction was “skirts are for girls”, my daughters were able to correct themselves and remembered that clothes can be for any gender.  They worked together to try on his wig and concluded that it looked very pretty on him.  It was also a reminder to them that wigs and long hair can be worn by anyone, not just girls.

It is necessary to normalize asking about pronouns if you are striving to normalize people.  I would like my children to treat non-binary, trans, gay, pansexual, gender fluid or straight people with the same amount of respect.  The first step to being comfortable about this is by talking about it in a natural way.  Here are some ways that I am teaching my children to be more inclusive:

• Ask what pronouns a person prefers.  If you don’t make it weird, it won’t be weird.
• Remind kids that clothes know no gender.  Anyone is welcome to rock a skirt, pants, hats, or any variation in between.
• Hair length does not determine gender.  There are many women who have short hair and many men who wear their hair long.  People can choose to style their hair any way they want.
• Be honest that you don’t know all the answers and that you’d like to learn more about other communities.  None of us have all the answers and it’s okay to be ignorant in areas.  What makes us grow as people is seeking out knowledge.
• Get to know the LGTBQ+ community.  Learn what makes them different and see how you can celebrate with them.  Raising my Rainbow is a mom who is raising a gender fluid son.  Stephenie describes gender and sexuality as a spectrum and to leave the understanding open for kids to insert their own understanding and ask their own questions.  The more you are connected to people who aren’t like you, the less “foreign” it becomes.
• Give your children opportunities to see inclusion in action.  Take them to family Pride celebrations, go to Drag Queen Storytime, have playdates with people who are different than them.  In these experiences, your kids will realize we’re not as different as we think and it will normalize humans.

Creatable World and People of Color

I had the opportunity to visit Mattel Headquarters and talk with toy creators.  I was enlightened to see so many women in every step of the toy creation process as well as a good number of Asian designers.  I asked them when more Asian dolls would grace the shelves and now I see why they couldn’t give me a clear answer.  I am grateful that people of color are being represented and kids can find dolls that look more like them on the shelves.  I can’t even describe the feeling when I heard my daughter exclaim, “She looks like ME!”  The Creatable World Doll Kits come in 6 varieties:

• Black Braided Hair with dark skin
• Brunette Wavy Hair with brown skin
• Copper Straight Hair with fair skin
• Black Straight Hair with fair skin
• Blonde Curly Hair with medium skin
• Blonde Wavy Hair with fair skin

Play without Limits

These dolls don’t necessarily be walking narrative for LGTBQ+ rights.  The Doll Kits also foster imagination by giving kids a blank canvas for their imagination to run wild.  When my daughters first looked at the doll, they thought of at least five different story possibilities.  “Oh!  She’s going to the barber to get a haircut!  Oh wait, he wants to be a runway model.  Mom look, she’s you in your romper!  It’s grandma with her classes!  No, I want her to be me!  Let me change my outfit.”

Mattel is allowing kids to create without limits by giving them a doll without lables that is gender neutral.  Kids are allowed to create their narrative and the doll can fit an infinite number of roles.  It’s also very cost efficient to buy your child one doll that can be used for so many different scenarios.

I am beyond excited to see a big company like Mattel give attention to these minority groups.  I hope that these dolls can be be catalyst for change and help start conversations.  You can find out more information about the Creatable World dolls on Mattel’s website or on instagram @CreatableWorld (#AllWelcome).  Please visit us over on our Instagram @LittleGrayThread.

What I Learned from Disney Social Media Celebration “On the Road”

I can still feel that excitement when I checked my email and found the invitation to Disney Social Media Celebration “On the Road” (#DisneySMC) at the Disneyland Resort.  In previous years, this conference was known as “Disney Social Media Moms” (#DisneySMMC), but I love how they have opened it up to all content creators, not just specific to “Mommy Bloggers”.  This was my first official Disney conference that I’ve been invited to and I honestly didn’t know what to expect.  I attended the conference free of charge and was provided with complementary tickets to Disneyland for my family.  All opinions are my own.

What is Disney SMC?

 

Disney Social Media Celebration, or “DisneySMC” is a invite-only conference that takes place about every other year at a Disney Resort.  I attended DisneySMC “On the Road” at the Disneyland Resort hosted at the Disneyland Hotel.  There were nine speakers (mediated by Courtnee Collier, Influencer Communications Manager) throughout the day that spoke about different topics how we can improve our Social Media Reach:

• Bob Hitchcock (Editorial Content Director):  importance of video content and the power of emotion
• Mallory Wang (Digital Marketing Content for Disney DTCI Programming and Studios):  how social platforms (Instagram, Twitter, Facebook) can all work together
• Louie Provost (Senior VP of Production at Walt Disney Studios): sneak peek of Maleficent: Mistress of Evil coming to theaters October 18
• John Breckow (Director of Corporate Citizenship for Disney Parks, Experiences and Products):  Cultural Social Responsibility and how Disney partners with Make-a-Wish (130,000 wishes granted since 1980!), #ShareYourEars campaign, and Disney VoluntEARing
•  Tom Smith (Editorial Content Director for Disney Parks Blog):  Custom Created Content using your Platform, Ecosystem, and Community
• Michael Ramirez (Editorial Content Director for Disneyland Resort):  New things coming to Disneyland Resort–Halloweentime (through October 31, The Holidays Begin Here (November 8 – January 6), Star Wars Galaxy’s Edge Rise of the Resistance (January 17, 2020), Magic Happens Parade (Spring 2020), and Avengers Campus (2020)
• Colleen Nettekoven (Downtown Disney):  new Halloweentime decor and limited time seasonal offerings and live entertainment.  West Beat Sings Scareolers will be performing every Wednesday and Friday night in front of Wonderground
• Kristin Dewberry (Construction Manager for Logistics):  empowering the next generation of imagineers through free tools from Imagineering in a Box (imagineeringinabox.org)
• Ashley Eckstein (voice of Star Wars Ashoka Tano and creator of HerUniverse):  Reminding us to wish, believe, do, transform, and trust.

Key Note Speaker Ashley Eckstein

You might recognize Ashley Eckstein‘s name as a Disney Channel actress and voice of Star War Ashoka Tano, but you might have not known that she created women’s clothing line HerUniverse from the ground up.  In her key note address, she reminded us why we’re all doing what we’re doing in the social media world and what to do when we want to give up.

What is Your Story?

We all have a story, and we all have a unique voice.  A group of bloggers can all see the same thing and go to the same event, but our coverage–or the way we tell our story–will all be different.  Ashley reminded us that all of our stories are valid.  We are not in competition with each other because we are here to tell our unique stories.

When I think of my story, I think of the things that make me unique.  I like to tell my story through the eyes of my daughters who love dressing up, characters, and live entertainment.  My unique parenting style focuses on inclusion and I hope that my actions can start conversations or break down walls with other people.  Since I am Chinese, I also act as an advocate for people of color and speak up to amplify voices that are sometimes too small to be heard.  My audience knows to expect these things from me and I appreciate that they want to hear my voice.

Wishes, Goals, and Transformation

When Ashley had an idea to start a women’s clothing line, she had big goals in mind.  For bloggers, goals can be anywhere from being invited to events to making enough money to support your family.  Goals can be personal such as having a pinterest worthy clean house or being debt free.  Ashley broke it down on how we can start achieving these goals.

• WISH.  Every goal needs to start with a wish or an idea.  There is no age limit to wishing.
• BELIEVE.  Write down one impossible thing and believe you can do it.  Believe in yourself and don’t be consumed by the competition.
• DO.  YOU have to be the driving force of your own destiny.  Do something every day to get you one step closer to your goal.
• TRANSFORM.  Use the resources you have.  No one is an overnight success.  Figure out your “WHY?”  Remember why you have this goal and use it to refocus and ground yourself when things get hard.
• TRUST.  Trust your gut.  Be ready for change because change is a necessary part of growth.

Ashley encouraged us to be Dream Warriors.  Make your dreams come true.  And when they do come true, help someone else’s dream come true.  Let that sink in for a little bit.

How to get Invited to DisneySMC

You’re not going to like this answer.  Nobody knows.  I still don’t know how I got invited  or who to contact to try to get on their radar.  But here are some things that I’ve learned that has helped me feel validated as a blogger.

• NETWORK.  A good portion of social media is the people you know.  Be active in the community, meet people who you look up to, collaborate and make new connections.
• PRODUCE QUALITY CONTENT.  If you want to be invited to a Disney conference, you need to be writing about Disney!  I’ve been sharing our Disneyland adventures for four years before Disney even knew who I was.  This means staying current about whats new at Disney, paying attention to trends, and making an effort to report things that will serve your audience.
• BE A STORYTELLER.  Talk about things that make you YOU.  When I looked around the room at DisneySMC, I saw people from every walks of life.  The vast majority of the influencers at the conference do not ONLY post Disney content.  We all write about what makes us unique, the things we’re passionate about, things that we think are important.  Our distinct backgrounds, writing styles, how we share information was all different and that’s what makes people stand out from the crowd.
• TREAT YOURSELF LIKE A PROFESSIONAL.  If you think of yourself as a member of the working media, you will present yourself with confidence.  Even when I have no idea what I’m doing, I try to give off an air of confidence not only to fool me but to fool everyone else in the room.  This also means that you have to do your due diligence to make sure that you are following FTC guidelines, keeping up with contracts, and acting in a way that would be pleasing to the company and brands.
• REMEMBER YOUR WHY.  Like Ashley said, remember why you are doing social media to begin with.  Is it to inspire?  Make money? Be helpful?  If you stick to achieving your goals, you are still succeeding every step of the way.

I left the conference armed with new tools to help tell my story.  I felt validated and seen.  I’m beyond grateful that Disney is interested in hearing my voice.  Thank you Disney for this incredible opportunity.

Celebrating a Birthday at Irvine Spectrum Center and Storymakery

Did you know the Irvine Spectrum Center has a Birthday Club for kids?  There are so many great places to celebrate a birthday there!  Last week, we kicked off LittleGray’s birthday week by having Afternoon Tea at the Hello Kitty Cafe Bow Room.  She wanted a low key celebration on her actual birthday, do something creative, and “make something”.  We had walked by Storymakery several times (especially since it’s conveniently located by Target), but we had never actually been inside.  Since this is a place where kids can create, write, and publish their own book, I thought this would be the perfect birthday surprise for our little storyteller.  The Irvine Spectrum Center assisted in helping us plan our birthday day by giving us ride tickets for our family, and Storymakery provided our experience for free for this article.

Irvine Spectrum Birthday Club

 

On any day of the month of your child’s birthday, you can pick up a Birthday Button at the kiosk by the Grand Wheel (located outside of Nordstrom).  You can register online (they will email you to remind you to redeem your Birthday Club package) or walk up in person to sign up for the program.

What do you get?  With the birthday button, the birthday kid receives unlimited rides on the Grand Wheel and Carousel.  Unfortunately, the other members of the party will still need tickets to get on the rides.  If the child is a under a certain height, a supervising adult may ride for free.  Along with the birthday button, you receive coupons from a few places in the Spectrum.  We redeemed the coupon for a free dessert pizza at Pieology and it was so delicious!  You’ll even get a $10 coupon for Storymakery in the pack!

While you’re at the Irvine Spectrum, be sure to check out the kids playground located right outside of Target.  Nearby are the best bathrooms in the family lounge.  The entrance to the Family Lounge is near the play structure across from the entrance of The Afters Ice Cream shop.

Storymakery

Storymakery is the first self-publishing experience for families and kids.  The only location is at the Irvine Spectrum center so this is truly a unique experience.  At Storymakery, kids work with a Host to write a story from start to finish.  We got to do the “Storytale Express” package which is geared for younger kids who don’t have a ton of experience writing long stories.

The Storytale Express begins with creating a main character and customizing it on their touch screen computers.  There are a variety of different themes to fit every child’s interest.  After the character is complete, the host works closely with the kids to write their story.  They ask questions bout the characters, what should happen next, and how to add supporting descriptive details.  Since the host takes the kids’ ideas and types up the entire story, it takes about a day for the books to be printed and bound.  You can pick up the books in store, or they can be shipped for a small fee.  You don’t leave the shop emptyhanded on the first day–your main character is printed on a keepsake poster which you can take home on the day you create your story.

Whats Included in the Different Packages?

Storytale Express

• $45 for softcover, $50 hardcover
• Approximately 30-40 minutes
• Recommended for preschool age or for those who are low on time
• One on One time with the host to assist plot development
• Custom Character poster
• Unlimited Character Creation

Storytale Workshop

• $75, includes hardcover book
• Approximately 2 hours
• Recommended ages 5 and up
• one and one time with host to assist with story creation
• more in depth lesson on how to write a compelling story
• plush toy
• custom character poster
• unlimited character creation

Imagination Kid Workshop

• $97.50, includes hardcover book
• Approximately 2 hours
• Recommended ages 5 and up
• Includes everything in the Storytale Workshop PLUS a printed shirt with the child’s main character

Something to note:  parents can drop off their kids for any of these programs at no additional cost!  Enjoy kid-free time at the Irvine Spectrum Center!  Also, don’t forget about the $10 coupon that is included as part of the Irvine Spectrum Center Birthday Club!

Additional Storymakery Programs

Birthday Party Packages start at just $200 for a group of 6 guests.  Parties are customizable with optional add ons like food and party favors.  More information about birthday parties can be found at storymakery.com.  They will also be hosting a series of drop off Summer Camps that vary from all day or half day.  Kids will learn about writing composition and take home a few books throughout the week.  More information about Summer Camps can be found here.

Is it Worth It?

At first glance, it might seem like a lot to pay $45 for a paperback book.  But when you factor in the entire experience, character creation, the hour long session with the host, and the pride that your child gets when that book is placed in their hands, that experience is priceless.  LittleGray is at the age where she wants to write stories all day long, and it is really special to see her name as the published author of this book (yes, its officially published!).  It gave her a sense of power and control to create all the characters to her exact specifications and it was so neat to see them come to life on the pages.  I feel like the price is on par with similar “creation activities” like Build a Bear, Color Me Mine, etc.  The $10 off birthday coupon makes this an exceptionally good value as well.  We ended up inviting her best friend to come with us and bought a package for her which was something fun for the girls to do together.  They also offer gift cards in case aunties or grandparents would like to chip in for a bigger package.

More information about Storymakery can be found on their website.  A full video of the entire Storymakery process can be found here.  Huge thank you to Storymakery and Irvine Spectrum Center for sponsoring our day!

 

What Captain Marvel Taught my Daughters about Friendships

Captain Marvel fandom has hit the nation and little girls everywhere are rejoicing that there is a new female superhero in town!  We are huge Marvel fans in our household (Loki literally stole Baby Loki’s heart) so my daughters naturally were excited to meet her at Disneyland and see her movie.

It might be an unpopular opinion to take a 4 and 6 year old to a PG-13 movie, but the girls had been asking to go and have a family night out at the movies.  This was their first Marvel movie in the theaters (they’ve watched the other Marvel movies at home) and I heard from multiple moms that this is an excellent “girl power” movie.  LittleSage spent the entire movie snuggled up next to my husband so she wasn’t too phased, but LittleGray spent a lot of the movie hidden behind my arm.  She tends to be the most “scared” of the two, but she did leave the movie loving it.  She did mention that she would have preferred to watch it at home.

Before you continue reading, please be warned that there are *POTENTIAL SPOILERS AHEAD*

Something that struck me about Captain Marvel was how lost she felt.  She didn’t know who she was, where she was from, or what even or own identity.  Her existence as she knew it was based on things that she was told by other people.  This really resonated with me because I feel that a woman’s identity can also often times feel lost.

I noticed that Captain Marvel only smiled when she was with Maria and Monica, her friends and family from Earth.  They helped her remember her true self as “Carol Danvers” and reminded her of her roots, her accomplishments, and who she actually was.  Once she realized who she could trust, what was her home, and who was her family, she was able to relax and become vulnerable again.

Captain Marvel as “Veers” lived her life with her guard up, conflicted, stoic, and confused.  Her Kree family never let her fully embrace who she was.  They tried to punish and control her power instead of letting her explore it.  It’s such a big life lesson to learn that people who try to force you to do something or be someone you’re not are not your friends and probably shouldn’t be in your life. 

I want my girls to remember this lesson on friendship.  A true friend will not force you to do something that is against your nature.  LittleGray has already had her friendships tested when her “friends” tried to convince her to do something that she knew was wrong.  It takes a strong person to stand up to your own convictions and to do the right thing, even when your friends are telling you to do something else.

A true friend will make you feel like you’re home.  They will remind you of the times when you felt on top of the world.  They will never try to stifle what makes you special–instead they will celebrate those things and help you best feature them.  A best friend will encourage you to be the best version of yourself.  I’m so grateful that I found that in my best friend Jo, and I hope that our daughters’ friendships continue to grow throughout their lifetime.

Releasing Shame and Refining Joy in 2019

A photo from my last press event from 2018, the Pasadena Sip and Savor

2018 was very good to me.  It was the year that I made a conscious decision to monetize and start this blog.  I decided to transform my piece of the internet from merely just being a way to preserve memories into a venue where I can help financially support my family.  I started 2018 with the goal of simply being invited to press events.  I am so proud to say that I achieved that goal and went into a direction that I never could have imagined.

There’s something about that statement that makes me take a pause.  “I am proud.”  I think that there is still a lot of shame that comes with the industry of being an “influencer”.  Even the word “influencer” makes me cringe a little (for me, I don’t like to assume that my opinion carries enough weight to change the way someone else makes decisions).  There is a certain stigma that comes with sponsored “#ad” posts and you can almost feel the eyerolls and the threat of the ever powerful “unfollow”.

A quick aside: One of my ongoing goals is to live a life of transparency, and I will be honest with you if I am being paid to talk about something. I do not want to hide my bias. Instead of being ashamed of the “#ad”, I look to it as a badge of honor. To me, it represents a successful business collaboration that I worked really hard to achieve.

Here’s the thing.  I AM PROUD.  I am proud of the work I accomplished in 2018.  I am proud of the goals that I set for myself, and how I continually set the bar higher because I’m reaching those goals.  I am proud that I am learning more about myself and what I can accomplish.  I am proud that I am doing something for myself that gives me autonomy and achievement.  I am proud that I am showing my daughters that with hard work comes great payoff (even they have learned what it means to get a job done, and I am so very proud of their work ethic, focus, and attention).

With the start of the new year comes a season of cleansing and renewal.  It seems that everyone has been bitten by the “Konmari” bug and we are all asking ourselves, “Does this bring me joy?”  I’ve taken this mentality and extended it beyond physical things.  My goal is to only keep things in my life that bring me joy.  This is true with everything–friendships, potential work commitments, expectations of myself.  If a person is not bringing me joy, I have to thank them for their contribution to my life, and let them go.  I often find myself saying yes to too many events, but if they are not bringing me joy, I am giving myself permission to say no.  I’d like to be the type of mom who feeds her kids really cute bento box lunches, but if it’s not bringing me joy, it’ll be another day of sun butter and chocolate sandwiches in a fold top plastic bag.

My word for 2019 is “refine”.  I used 2018 as the year to get my foot in the door in the social media blogging world.  I still barely know what I’m doing.  I’m going to use 2019 to hone in on my craft, what I want to present, and how to present it well.  I have found that I respect and invest in people who share content about things that obviously bring them joy (Stephenie‘s Brene Brown posts, Jo‘s unfiltered musings on motherhood in the special needs world, Mindy‘s unapologetic take on blogging).  I hope to do the same.  While this list is ever changing, here are the things that bring me joy:

• Bringing together bloggers/social media-ers and building a supportive community–brainstorming, talking shop, inspiring, networking
• Making costumes for my kids (whether it be from scratch or curated from clothing basics like primary.com)
• Going to places and events in Orange County and Los Angeles (and sharing tips on how to make these trips less stressful)
• Theme Parks
• Finding tips, tricks, and deals and sharing them with you.  On the same wavelength, I love taking in a big piece of information, process it, and present it to you in a more manageable way.  This is where my “Kids Guides” come in.
• Live entertainment and performing arts
• Toys.  So random, but I love toys.  Always have.  New toys, vintage toys, toy storage, toy reviews, I just love toys.

It will be interesting to see how this list expands and pares down (hence, the refining) throughout the year.  When I was in high school, my teachers would ask me, “What do you want to do as a career?”  I didn’t have a specific profession in mind, but I vividly remember thinking that I wanted to tell people about new and exciting things, and share how they can get the most out of them.  It hit me like a ton of bricks when I realized that I am finally achieving my childhood career aspirations.  I want to spend 2019 refining what brings me joy, and focus on those things.  I hope to continue to learn more about myself and how I can hopefully inspire and help other people.  I feel like I’m just an ordinary mom just like many of you.  Anything that I can do, you can definitely do also.  My hope is that I inspire others to get out there, set goals, and create an extraordinary life.  Cheers to 2019.